mind the gap

Today I browsed the online Guardian and afixed my restless surfing eyes on Kissing To Be Clever, by Oliver Marre; it's a piece about a networking space for ‘intelligent people’ - and always one for finding new distractions, and not considering myself to be altogether mutton-brained, I thought I’d check it out.

It exists – on its intimidatingly stark home page a pretty blonde holds aloft an apple (alas poor Jonathan, I chewed him well?) - here is a place where grey matter can hang out online, where meaningful dialogue can flow without banal status updates, vacuous fan clubs, and people more Americal Idol than Mastermind knocking on the door to your friends list. Well, I think that’s what it’s all about; I didn’t get past the entry exam: an IQ test.

Initial thought: IQ. OK.

After the third question it was clear the entire process was going to comprise geometrical shapes in absurd formations in which I was supposed to glean some trend. Obviously I didn’t – and to be honest, I gave up trying, after ten questions preferring the ‘ad hoc’ method of selection. No surprise then, that I failed.

I failed to get into an Intelligent People chatroom. Can I display at this point my lack of calibre by saying ‘farrrrk’!

The humiliation... that can be drowned in Shiraz; but the puzzlement will linger. Surely intelligence can be measured on levels other than advanced shape sorting? I mean, not being defensive an' all (or abusive), but do they deem to be bright only those with an application swinging fairly high up the autism scale? I’m bright. I am. I’m quite cheerful, I’m not the last to be picked for a triv team, I got a degree (of sorts), I held down a job, I can totally be left alone in a room with a tin opener...

They do offer a second chance, just one more attempt at gaining entry into the cranial chasm of time-wasting. But I’m not going to take it. Because – I’ll admit – I don’t get it! I don’t get why a small square and a star and a stick, moved around in eight different ways would result in the ninth coordination – the answer – being a triangle and a circle with a stick and a cross (probably). And frankly I think I’d probably die of boredom before I did.  

Does that make me stupid? Are people who can rattle off Sudokus more intelligent than those who can do cryptic crosswords? Are architects more brainy than writers? How can 'intelligence' possibly be measured by a series of fiddly diagrams?

And what do these people talk about that I can't possibly be on their wavelength? I can talk theology, arts and gardening - I can; when it comes to dialogue I'm interested, if not interesting... If it's pure maths, then hell, wrong party, sorry, absolutely, I'll be off.

But taking this away from me and my evident ouch-point with how I'm seen, cleverly-ly, here's my concern: have we moved nowhere since the great universities were first erected and filled with pompous dons spouting cock-sure quotes from the philosophers and dividing the mess hall peas equally using quadrilateral equations (see, shows you how much I know...)? Hasn't our perception of intelligence evolved?

Emotional Intelligence is the big old buzz word of the decade; and I've written enough articles and spoken to enough supporters to agree that there is such a thing, and indeed, the possession of it will probably get you further in life - that's life outside of academia - than a year in a study with Pascal could ever do. Emotional Intelligence (EI) is almost the antipodes of Academic Intelligence - rather than focusing on an inanimate somethingorother (which I am sure would become animated once pushed through the machinations of the mathematical brain, however), it's about reading situations, being catholic (small c) in your approach in order to concentrate your personal impact. It's been neurolinguistically programmed into seminar room-fuls of hopefuls, it's been 'proven' to be a trigger behind the big successes, the big successfuls; I am totally convinced that Emotionally Intelligent people are happier, and meet their own challenges head-on and climb their own daily mountains with big steps.

But I can see why Intelligent People Dot Com doesn't have EI on its guest list. Don't ask me why - well, okay, do. It's because EI is too catholic. Even people who - gasp - aren't pompous can have EI. Even people who - gasp - wouldn't understand a square root if it hit them in the face, can have EI. EI, by its nature, is far too inclusive.

So what, then, is the alternative intelligence filter?

There's a phrase that was used like a prodding stick during my slack-jawed teen years, when I'd rather gawp at the screams on Top of The Pops than watch a documentary about Nepalese Goat Herders, when I'd rather trim my split ends (for hours on end) than take 'interesting' cuttings from the numerous papers delivered to our house... That phrase was: Natural Curiosity. Where's your natural curiosity, child!....

I'm using the phrase already, spurring my kids as mercilessly as a short-tempered Nepalese Goat Herder - and they're both still under six. Natural Curiosity. A fired-up feeling of why, where, how, tell me more. An urge to look it up, check it out, find out further. It's when reaction to the taste isn't enough - you have to know the ingredients. Natural Curiosity.

Intelligent People is one thing. And as I haven't got past the bouncers on the door, I can't comment. But if it's awash with nanointelligence rather than broad, inquisitive minds, then bar me - bar me for life. I'll happily think elsewhere.

Naturally Curious People - these are the people I'd like to hang out with; and actually, despite the status updates and foolish quizzes, my Facebook list is full of naturally curious people. They're my friends, and my friends' friends. That's networking for you. Word of mouth, post of face. Who's to say on Intelligent People you won't get stuck in conflab with a boring old bugger who wants to talk about nothing other than Greek Tragedies, or cyber-stalked by a guy who thinks the symetry in your face is a key that unlocks some cosmo-whatnot? Facebook - you get what you see.

But if anyone wants to start an exclusive networking site based on the theme of Naturally Curious People, go ahead, I won't be writing rude blogs about it. And despite it being my brainchild, I won't be requiring credit, payment, dividends; just an exam-free entry. And permission to post the first ever statement.

Why Are We Here?

(Not the 'biggie' - not the meaning of life; just why are we joining yet another networking site? My answer: too many better things to do...)

PS  I do recognise that Intelligent People also has a networking-for-love branch; but that would have messed up my post. So if you're a physicist looking to partner up with another bright spark, go fiddle with your geometrics and find a rocket scientist. If you're a non-logical arts freak who likes thinking outside of the formula, and can't get through the Intelligent People test, then you'd better find your X + Y = Love elsewhere...  Somewhere Qwertier.

 

Comments

[siobhan curious]

Hilarious. Thanks for finding me and pointing me back to your site. I look forward to doing some quality reading here, and commenting with more aplomb when I'm not running off to class...