Apparently Nadya Suleman is shopping the video of her octo-birth around. She wants $US1m.
Nadya did an incredible thing. She birthed eight babies naturally, at home. It’s unheard of. Despite what you may think about IVF with six kids already in the clutch, you have to admit she chose on a wonderfully nurturing and private birthing process for her additions.
Oh, but now she's willing to flash for the cash. Would you want the world between your legs? For a million....meh, I'd do less, worse maybe. But once it’s spread from original purchaser across all the mediums of youtube, blog, fetish and stranger-than-fiction sites – literally millions of people – you’ve got to calculate that most of these guys will be seeing your aching and overstretched gusset for gratis.
I can understand, what with 14 hungry mouths to feed, that getting your hands on a million might be useful. She's probably wishing she hadn't flexed the plastic so much now.
Says Natalie Kita in the About Plastic Surgery blog: “From the photos, Nadya Suleman appears to have undergone at least two procedures - rhinoplasty and lip augmentation. And it also seems she may have gone to her plastic surgeon with a picture of Angelina Jolie in hand. Could her desire for so many children have anything to do with what some people are calling an "obsession" with the famously maternal actress?”
Just a rumour, mind. Kita said it, not me. But regardless of what Nadya likes to spend her hard-earned cash on, with a website devoted to her little darlings carrying the clear message that she’d like you to donate to her little darlings, isn’t this cash on delivery business coming on a bit strong - and wearing a bit thin? People get compassion fatigue for victims of earthquakes, tsunamis, bushfires and terrorist attacks – please don’t tell me the Suleman Eight is media Red Bull where our pockets are concerned. So far, I don’t think anyone’s paid the asking price but considering the chickens have hatched, she should by now have counted her nest eggs and appearance fees and retreated back into obscurity for the sake of her family. It may not be what’s desired, but it’s certainly what’s dignified.
And speaking of dignified, let’s have a little think who might be watching Nadya’s home birth video. Medical students, maybe; those who genuinely wish to witness the miracle of a natural octuplet birth, perhaps; but I’d be willing to bet that most viewers would fall into the dirty Mac category.
I mean, who of average constitution, wants to see a birth? I wasn’t even that overjoyed to espy the slimy entrails that came with the arrival of my own two babies – I sure as hell wouldn’t relish the sight of another’s. But let’s give the potential audience the benefit of the doubt. Let's say there are no dirty Macs, no porn-again cretins crowding to catch Octopussy in action; who does it leave us with? Only people whose fascination with Nadya’s nether bits stems from her celebrity status.
Well, I’ve got news for you, girls and boys; her face may look as glossy as Angelina on the Entertainment Chanel (I'm being nice, okay?), but down in the birth canal it's raw and real. And giving birth to eight... Pas Jolie. Pas Jolie de tout!
In case you were tempted, here's a fun little video. All done in the best possible taste. :0)
Great, isn't it! I love it when he starts batting them away - you get that unstiflable laugh that only comes with humour which is really inappropriate!
Posted by: Rachel | March 25, 2009 at 11:42 PM
holy crap, you made me snort my coffee out my nose with that video!
Posted by: I'd Like to Sleep Now | March 25, 2009 at 04:56 PM